Revenue

http://www.metrolyrics.com/printlyric/here-i-am-lord-lyrics-james-kilbane.html

We have been enjoying beautiful days, the fall season lengthens for a while and the crops are still there, just yesterday we had our first frost on the ridge.  I Wanted to attempt a summary of revenue this season, especially for the next year planning:

June: rhubarb for the co-op $1000
July, August: cucumbers for the co-op $2500
September, October: beets for the co-op $500

The months prior we would be preparing the soils and planting, in between we would do our gardens, and during the fall we would also be harvesting corn and food preserving.

Our animals consist of a milking cow who is  expecting in four months, two horses, one for riding and one for working the fields, three sheep, two pigs, six laying hens, two cats and one dog.
We have hay for them and buy organic grain from the local mill as well as apples, beets and other niceties from the land.

Our family with three children, father and mother, strives to be in love, learning always new ways of living in togetherness, in increasing our dependance in the spirit, in helping one another, and has welcomed special needs children once a week, families that wanted to come closer to this way of living, interns and people going through major life changes.

We could not have done this without the help of our neighbors, and without the spirit which always comes through in our time of need, with other people showing up at just the right time or with friend's helping hands.

It is at this time that I feel the greater thankfulness for what God has given me, the perfect husband for me, with its perfect qualities for this marriage, the perfect children for us, with their special qualities for this family, the perfect house for us, with its special qualities for this living, and all the special people God has sent our way to teach us and love us.

Many thanks to all.

It is at this time, after one year and a half of living in the Amish community that my commitment to this way of life increases, and I will drop the Internet use and other technologies, I hope this have served some of you to live closer to God, yet if not disregard all my writings as Nothing else but sounding cymbals.

If you have any questions you can find me at E15290 Burr Salem Road, Hillsboro WI 54634.

Prayer press

These days we are making cheese with a homemade press system, the curds are squished unto the macramé basket and a weight is put on top in order to take the whey out. As time and pressure increases so the cheese density.

It reminds me of how prayers work in my life, I do not have a list of people to pray for, yet I feel like a list is constantly being written for me, as people show up at my place or cross my path and I start asking them questions. Sometimes I dread the next minute or hour when somebody else will show up, yet I know that it is in this, my fear and acknowledge of inability, that the Spirit can work best. I ask questions and usually a plea is set before me. Then in my silence, as I go about my days, the plea is given up to the Father, I ask God to help them, to grant them what they need. The Father then asks me of things, or brings me trials, or tells me to give up something, it is an intercessory prayer, and the most difficult the plea, the most difficult the petition on my life. I find out that intercessory prayers are granted more than my own requests or pleas. I found out that unless my heart is moved Inwardly, unless I feel the compassion welling up in my heart for the person I am interceding, nothing really works, no matter how much time I am thinking about it or how much intensity i think with, or how many fasts I would do. It is the Spirit who makes it possible for my heart to soften, and to hear what is being asked, and to bring it to the Father, it is the Spirit who puts the pressure on top of me, to feel the hurt and the pain of the other human being, to move my whey out, my tears out, and my cheese a bit more dense. Oh, Father, that I would do your will in everything you want, that I would not loose any of the lambs you bring me.

As Christians we are called to forbear each other, to confess to each other. It is in confessing with a spirit of repentance that we can allow great changes to come into our natural lives. When we have that close communication with each other, and frequently, we can have the peace of the Spirit every night, we can be calm amidst the storm. When the repentance is true, the soul also moves, the heart is active and emotions roll down. It is such a comfort to have people ministering to us, who open their hearts and let us see through their souls, often when they speak, tears may appear, or the voice may break, as they expose their inmost feelings and help us to soften also our hearts. On the other hand, when we are hardened, we do not listen, and our speech is cold and logical, without  warmth. We may be very knowledgeable and deep, but the depth is an illusion, and the teaching is like hard rock. Nothing to be swallowed, nothing to nurture. Oh, that we may always have our hearts softened by the Spirit, that we may become real brethren, that the Glory of God would shine through us.

Priceless

 

We have an island in front of the house which is full of weeds and various herbs, and was in need of work...I kept thinking I would get to it next day and rasor it all down, but it did not happen. Finally last weekend friends came over to supper and one of them said: You do not know what precious things you have in this island, somebody did put extra care times ago to have a medicinal garden here. Really? I was going to chopp it all down!

Now I am glad I waited, and my friend will teach me how to recognize weeds and medicinal herbs. The above jars are full of herbs already and have some in good oil for medicinal purposes, it is really interesting to see an infection go away over night with homemade remedies: beets, rattlesnake or bread and milk poultices work wonders!

It happens to us sometimes also, we see our lives and our days and we feel worthless, useless...no wonder it is so, since " our good deeds are like filthy rags to the Lord". Yet as long as God can use us for His purposes, then our lives are made priceless, because they have the worth of the Creator. And just like my weedy island which was at first a nuisance that needed to be cut off, and became without any effort of my own, a precious medicinal garden that just needed to be taken care of, so are our lives nothing with our efforts, filthy rags; but when we let God take over them He allows the pruning and healing works of his Son to make them priceless. We are just left to take care of them, to know God's will and to obey.

We do not want to be under the category of religious prisoners, which follow the rules and try hard to avoid sin by putting their souls into a cage, their souls are never cleansed but their lives are miserable trying to do good and doing nothing but good. It is on the other hand a God that brings freedom our God, He changes our souls as we love Him, and the more we do the more our souls are made bright and unto His liking. I know because I have been many times a day a prisoner.I know because God has also made me free many times a day. God forgive my filthy rags, and make me your priceless tool.

The Art of Conversation

In the Goethe’s fairy tale, “The Green Snake and the Beautiful Lily”:The green snake is questioned by the king: “How did you get here?” he asks her, and she replies, “Out of the clefts where the gold dwells.” The question is posed: “What is more glorious than gold?” and the answer is “Light.” Then they ask her, “What is more quickening than light?” and she answers, “Conversation.”

In the past I viewed this statement and kept pondering about its truth. I did not understand it. Maybe I will not claim i understand it now, yet another appreciation of it is available. I can see all around that truly conversation is more precious than gold, or even light. Why is that so, if light is so much the giver of life? well because conversation in its true form it is much more giver of life in the same way that the material depends on the spiritual to exist.

In the farm we had many times wandered to our neighbor's dwellings, it is so much interesting to be there and work with them than at any other place including our own. Our children have also wandered away, and even our guests sense the pulling force of the neighbors, and prefer to be around them. Why is this so? Is it because their farm is better? No. is it because their faith?No. is it because their work? No, it is because of Conversation. they have mastered the art of putting away self and really listening to the other, they continually work through their daily chores with this in mind and open their lifes to what is around them. As one of our guests says: " Well, they are just more optimistic." Now how can you be for ever optimistic?, that is with God in your heart and your neighbor in your heart as well. That is with trained speech, that is with the art of Conversation. always using to encourage one another in one's Christian path.

The children do not mind working alongside us for three hours at a time, if they have our attention, that is our conversation. but the minute we start thinking about ourselves, about our agenda, or our troubles, just our natural mind...then they get tired. It happens the same to me too, and to all of us, working together practicing the art of Conversation is what keeps things alive, and children then learn how it is to be trained in love, and not to be idle, or not to work in fear or compulsion, but to work out of love, the love that God pours in our hearts as spouses and parents. We love going to our neighbor's house, because they know how to love, and I would like to see more examples around of families that share this way of life, that give a priority to the Art of Conversation.

Finally regarding our schedule discussion, we are still in the midst of it. It seems that it carries ramifications to all the other areas of our lifes. Is the husband to lead the raising up of the household, or is the wife? Lately I had been looking at two couples that are very dear and close to me. Both of them had a wife that had to step up to the directing of jobs and directing money matters, one was because of lack of concern and physical inabilty of the husband, and the other was because of the husband's gambling problems and other differences in views. Well, both marriages were also in the same area and with the same culture background, but the difference in them was astonishing! as much as blue and red are different, as much as fire and ice are different. The first home was a welcoming home, you could see the warmth, and the amicability of their inhabitants. Love abounded and was poured out to us too. The other home was cold, sharp, and there was animosity in the air any way you looked at.

The point I discovered recently with these two examples is that it may not matter so much what you do, but how and why you do it. I can wake up early and direct the household waiting for my husband to wake up, in a spirit of servanthood and love, or I could wake up early and lead in a resentful way. God give me the strength to follow your commandments and love my neighbor as myself.

Pious Living

This year has been full of good reading, i enjoy sitting with the children and reading aloud, though now my audience is getting smaller, since most of them are over 7 years old and reading themselves....but here and there they also join in the coach and share the rest time after dinner. We started the year with the Laura Ingalls series, such a beautiful way to start the year as we follow the family and Laura in their learning. When spring was approaching we read Tom Sawyer and also the Adventures of Huckleberry Finn,  two classics of Mark Twain that remind us of something we all long for, a Home. Finally we have been enjoying Rudyard Kipling and his Jungle Book. Now that in Wisconsin it seems summer is short and fading away, I am considering reading aloud again Heidi, every chapter brings tears to my eyes and my heart gets filled with compassion, a good idea to break the hardness of the hot season.

One of the things of good books is that you can apply its lessons to your everyday life. For example, in the Jungle Book, the second chapter when Mowgli is captured by the Monkey People, has been giving me ideas on how Christians and Heathen alike are under the same circumstances, yet they respond so differently. the Jungle people, law abiding people can be liken to the Christian, whereas the monkey people to the Heathen. How is my life daily in these terms, am i responding to human nature and circumstances here on earth as heathen or as christian?

I am still looking into how the schedule is going to work, to adapt to my husband I thought I should wake up later, and not lead the household in the first hours of the day, but alas, then i observe my spiritual life also sinking backwards and unclean thoughts coming loudly....Somebody told me: Early rising is a virtue, do not abandon it, yet in the Bible it also says: Those who lose their life will gain it. It will take time to define our lives together as a family, a family such as God intended. I am patiently waiting for the next step to take.

Lately i have found these beautiful: Rules for a Godly Life, which consist of 20 pages of rules for pious living.

The first part consists on training your thought life. One example is : Keep free from wicked, idle, or unclean thoughts. Prov 4:23. For as your thoughts are so is your speech, your conduct, and your entire way of life.

The second part dwells in our words. One example is: Seek to avoid therefore, all non-edifying talk; let your words be thoughtful, few and true.

The last part focus on works. One example is : Stand firm, with all your strenght , against your bosom sins, those which your personal nature, more than any other sin, has a tendency to commit.

 I am so grateful to have found them, I wish I had somebody to be accountable for each other. Perhaps my husband. I am aware of these rules for monastic order and other religious, yet in the lay people i haven't found them, why is so? is it because the serving of each other in Godly marriage brings sanctity enough? Perhaps. But as I look around and at myself I see the need of more, more training to be walking the path of Jesus.

Adjusting

This  month we are hosting our exchange student from France and he has helped us in many ways. not only with work at the farm, but also and more important for me in checking how are we doing spiritually: Are we beter than last year, did we grow in hospitality? are we more understanding of other people's ways? can we still hold our beliefs while being loving of different people? we had a lively discussion one night with creationism versus evolutionism, at the end we sang the Song of Peace :

This is my song, Oh God of all the nations,
A song of Peace for lands afar and mine.
This is my home, the country where my heart is;
Here are my hopes, my dreams, my sacred shrine.
But other hearts in other lands are beating,
With hopes and dreams as true and high as mine.

My country’s skies are bluer than the ocean,
And sunlight beams on cloverleaf and pine.
But other lands have sunlight too and clover,
And skies are everywhere as blue as mine.
Oh hear my song, oh God of all the nations,
A song of Peace for their land and for mine.

May Truth and Freedom come to every nation;
May Peace abound where strife has raged so long;
That each may seek to love and build together,
A world united, righting every wrong;
A world united in its love for freedom,
Proclaiming Peace together in one song.

Still the question is pending. How are we doing spiritually?
 

My husband finally got away from his regular job and is working at the farm. this is a big change for us and a big step towards our vision of family working together as a means to grow in sanctity. For me is extremely challenging because I have to give up my way of doing things, I am organized, early riser, timely and efficient you would say, whereas my husband has the other set of qualities. How difficult is for me to let go of what I have been doing, managing the children and the home/farm life, and let him step up to his God given responsability of the leader of the home. It was easier when he was working at an 8 hour job daily, but now it is taking a great adjustment. I know is pride standing in the way, my prideful look at things, and I ask for prayers, that the Holy Spirit will work through me and let me adapt to my husband's ways. Lovingly. Without grudges. As a helpmeet.

It may not be so different -from one standpoint of view - to see how are be doing with hospitality and how are we doing with our spouse. It may well be that one is like the other, and that our relationship with God shapes the way we relate with family and strangers alike.

Another cow!

We have looked at the other two experiments, lettuces and radishes. The leaf planting experiment has given results that are expected in the planting calendar whereas the root planting again show results opposite to the ones expected in the calendar. Right now the hypothesis that seems to gain weight is the one that considers the moon forces of waxing and waning to be stronger than other factors.

There is a second cow in the pasture, Lucy has come to live with us and is expecting a calf for the next month! We wanted to see how another cow would change the relation within the animals and us, it is quite interesting to note the changes, even though we treasured the idea of the family cow, it also seems fair to have a herd instead, a small one. We also have aquired some sheep and have enlarged our pasture fields, it seems like a good venture but time will tell. Meanwhile we are thankful how these new animals came to us, a friend was in the move and needed to sell them, it was a special time together, checking things and making sure the transition was smooth. We miss you Ginny, thanks!

Hypothesis

We have the radishes ready for eating and with the experiment on planting dates we have observed that the results are different than the expected. Our first group of radishes, two varieties planted on a root day 23rd April are rather small and have less color, vibrancy in general. The two varieties planted on 25th April during the eclipse ( about 50 each group) are bigger and more vibrant, plus the taste is crispier and also spicier at the end kick.

Left to right: Group 1 and 2 planted on 23rd April, root day, Heirloom and Belle.
Group 3 and 4 planted on 25th April eclipse, Heirloom and Belle.

One hypothesis is that the radishes follow the moon cycle strongly than the other influences could account, and that that period of time was coming from waxing to full moon, thus bringing forces of the growing leaves to a halt point (full moon) and the forces of stopping roots to a halt as well.

Another hypothesis is that the intention of the observer brings more forces into consideration than the actual planets, because even though the results are not what were expected they were actually the inwardly desired by the observer.

Yet a third explanation could be that there needs to be more sets of experiments to draw any conclusion, and that the preparations need to be activated better for the results to show in accordance to the planting calendar and not in reverse. ( we may have time yet to see results with the leaf planting and the flower planting this year)

There is always room for more hypothesis...

Meanwhile we had a family staying with us, also interested in the change technology is bringing to the social aspect and how to transform that, either withdrawing from technology and working outside of it or overcoming it.

It is very difficult to do the second and I have to admit with children to raise it is more so. Yet  I am reminded that love overcomes from within, and avoidance is usually a shortcut that does not brings us to the golden road. But again, in a practical way, how can one transform it?

We know of alcoholics and other addictions, for a while is better to stay off temptation, to avoid bars and places that are related to the activity we are trying to overcome. It must work similarly in a spiritual level too, for a while we might have to completely break off technology so we can restore our social interactions, heal our senses, resensitize our human qualities which are based on the Spirit.

When one is strong then we can go back to those places and help humanity in their fall in the deep well, but not before, lest we fall back with them without ever noticing it....

May we keep walking on the narrow path, and may God grant us the sight to see the edge, often is better to struggle in our thought life before we are thrown into the deep, but this may look different for each one of us, as we are guided to overcome our own darkness.

Often when faced with disappointments or trials we grumble, yet. the crumbling that takes place is just what the Spirit needs to work with, "The more the child of God crumbles, the more freedom the Spirit has to work." The Holy Spirit, Abiding Comforter  David L. Martin.

What Love brings

 

Love brings such wonders, is hard to describe,

when one, life ponders, as more years arrive.

 

Sometimes we wonder what will be in store,

we sit asunder and wait at the door.

 

Ch: God humble us low, whatever it takes

                      Your blessings bestow for your kingdom's sake.

 

Why God has changed plans, why this happened now?

yet Love understands, we gratefully bow.

 

The more the surprise, the more we're in shock,

the more he can use our lives for his flock.

Being God's friend

Due to wet weather we postponed the planting of yesterday to today, still we kept with the schedule pretty good and we are seeing the peas already coming through, potatoes are in, four kinds of varieties, and lettuces and chards as well as the wild flowers and our herb garden. Next week we will do lots of weeding and cultivating, since the rains are making everything green and growing, and leave the following week for the next group planting.

We were given the cow, she is such a sweet  cow, Bessie is her name and it suits her very well. We have plenty of milk now, making butter on Friday, whipped cream and still lots of milk to think what to do! Perhaps we will try mato, a fresh cheese from my country,  that is eaten at desserts with honey or olive oil and salt.

We are also harvesting nettles and the first dandelion flowers, and putting them to dry for teas.

It is interesting to note that some families have a tendency to have boys, and some families a tendency to have girls. I have been observing this for quite a while, and can say that in general you could see that the mother that is more of a round disposition favors the birth of boys and the more skinny type the girls; it is linked to their personality, the former being more in tune unconsciously with the natural cycles and yet slower to be impressed by the forces, and the latter being more nervous and as such grasping the forces earlier when they are weaker. I am trying to see the parallel in the plant world, where the forces are so plainly seen in form.

Lately the laziness in awakening has been bothering me, I see it as a sinful attitude, pampering the flesh one more minute as I lay comfortably with the blankets. Now  that I have the responsibility of milking Bessie at 6 in the morning, I wake up promptly, yet I can see this is only a crutch, an almost physical necessity that brings me to comply with the Spirit and wrest away from my flesh, yet, it is rightly done? I am still aware of my weakness, if the crutch disappeared would I be still lazying around in the morning? That is the difference with Godly sorrow and worldly sorrow, the one changes your heart and sin is overcome, the other may have the outward appearance of a change of heart but it is not so.  Yet also there are times where we are instructed to resist temptation and other times when the right thing to dio is to flee from the devil, what is the difference between them? How can we know which one to do? This is an example easy to write about,  the lazyness in awakening, but there are many other examples of these  struggles in our lives, crowding our minds, hearts and actions. May God help me overcome sin in my life, may I yield to Him for it.

 

Being God’s friend

I thought I was walking close to you, Oh God,

I had heard your calling, your footsteps I trod.

For trials in life I looked up to you,

and though it took time, I followed your rule.

Now once more I’ve fallen, I lost your sure sight,

Why it has to happen if I am your bride?

Temptation comes swiftly like in David’s times,

Before I could gage it I dropped from your arms.

Oh please, God forgive me, come near me again,

Fill my mind with sweetness of your promised land.

Take all the temptations away from my heart

And take captive my thoughts to obedience at last.

The love due to my spouse shall I tend with care

The more the occasion is loaded with snares.

Help us in our faith, so love increases,

The Holy Spirit’s claim, obeying eases.

If you but just use us as weapons in war

I sure would gladly bear this trial and more.

Oh, God please have mercy, let us soldiers be,

We’ll pray in your army as you see a need.

Some planting

We have the peas and radishes in the land, (with radishes on 4/23 and 4/25 to see effects on the plant growth), we are planting lettuces Monday morning and strawberries on the evening, later on the week, Friday, we will also plant lettuces to compare the effect of the solar eclipse; plus potatoes are ready too. The sunflowers are also pulling up and we have the collection of medicinal herbs ready. It is an interesting time of year, we do hope not to put to much in the front that later cannot be taken care.....May 21 Tuesday we will plant the beets for our local cooperative, and on saturday 25 with the lunar eclipse we will do so again, to make observations.

There are some verses from Ecclesiastes XI that are interesting to ponder, as we look into the planting calendar, we could find this year some evidence for a case against or for the observing of the days.

Last Tuesday we burnt our land, the fields that needed to be cleaned, it was such an awesome experience, to see the flames rising amidst the darker night, it was a good metaphor of how much light wee need to bring to the darkest parts of ourselves.

Finally we have a friend doing an interesting initiave with the intention to bring closer the farmer and the client, you can check his project at  www.farmmatch.com

Hoping you all have a Spirit filled Spring as Pentecost approaches.

Drawings

Alive Traditions

 

 

 

 

 

Love Conquers Death

Moon cycles

Observing the houseplants this last three months we see that the first full moon on January brought a lot of growth and life to the dormant winter plants, but on February, coming up to the full moon this did not happen so much, there was only a bit of refreshing tender green color on the leaves, not so much growth. Now in March, approaching the full moon also has brought more growth to the houseplants, but in no comparison to the first big growth of the year, back in January. We see a mirroring image in the weather outdoors, when back in January things started to feel as if spring would come early this year, but alas, in February we saw these thoughts changing, as colder weather set in and broke the warmer spell. Now in March, the warmer temperatures are peeking through again, but modestly.

Interestingly enough, the writing inspirations seem to follow also the moon calendar! I will look more into this pattern during the next months.

We are intending on setting a rhythm in our farm, that help us with the work this year, we might have the same exchange student coming again and we would like to set a form to make things go easily and cheerfully. I find when things are set up in a rhythm is much nice to work than when there is no plan…Yet it has to be rhythm that is alive, so I am hoping to work with it enough before company comes. This is our lay-out:

5:30 wake up and dress

6-7 chore time ( milking cow, fresh hay and water in the barn, feed chickens and horse..)

7 breakfast with story and singing

8 housework

9-12 field work ( with a snack at 10)

12 dinner

12:30 rest

13 housework

14-17 field work ( with a snack at 3)

17 chore time

18:30 supper with story and singing

19:30 free time

20:30 sleep for the children

Some of the field work time I will be indoors setting the meals with one or two children, and some afternoons will be set apart for errands.

Our regular weekday routine includes:

Monday: washing clothes

Tuesday: ironing

Wednesday: baking bread

Thursday: helping neighbors

Friday: washing clothes

Saturday: baking bread

Sunday: singing

We will have to include butter making, but maybe it can be done daily for now.

 List of things to plant in our garden: tomatoes for fresh eating and canning homemade ketchup, cucumbers for fresh and pickles, Swiss chard for fresh and frozen, lettuces, cabbages for fresh and sauerkraut, carrots we will try to winter them too, peppers, potatoes and green beans for fresh and canning, leeks, that will stay out in the winter, and garlic. Red beets and maize corn for our animals in the winter, we are trying to figure out how many rows of them. And then the medicinal herbs and  teas, I want to buy some terracotta pots for some of them to have in the house through the winter, and have large patches of other ones that I will dry and hang from the ceiling during the winter months: Rosemary, Greek oregano, basil, parsley, sage, dill, German chamomile, ginger, peppermint, lemon balm, lavender, fennel, calendula, yarrow, equisetum. We have plenty of nettles around here, dandelions and rabbit’s ears, but we would need to find eucalyptus and arnica at the store. Finally, about flowers, I will concentrate on roses in the north (with the lavender)  and sunflowers on the southern side. I do not know if we will have opportunity to start the light root this year.

Things are still frozen in the ground, so we will have to wait a little and do the planting calendar of the year once things start to soften up.

Real Beauty

When you are forgotten or neglected or purposely set at naught, and you not sting and hurt at the oversight, but your heart is happy, being counted worthy to suffer for Christ, that is dying to self.

When your good is evil spoken of, when your wishes are crossed, your advice disregarded, your opinions ridiculed, and you refuse to let anger rise in your heart, or even defend yourself, but take it all in patient loving silence, that is dying to self.

When you lovingly and patiently bear any disorder, any irregularity, any impunctuality, or any annoyance, when you can stand face to face with waste, folly, extravagance, spiritual insensibility and endured it as Jesus endured it, that is dying to self.

When you are content with any food, any offering, any raiment, any climate, any society, any solitude, any interruption by the will of God, that is dying to self.

When you never care to refer to yourself in conversation, or to record your own good works, or itch after commendation, when you truly love to be unknown, that is dying to self.

When you can receive correction and reproof from one of less stature than yourself and can humbly submit inwardly as well as outwardly, finding no rebellion or resentment rising up within your heart, that is dying to self.

 Author unknown.

Without self-denial there is no community, but individuality.

It is true that one of the attractions of the Amish is the sense of community, yet this community could not arise without the individual self- denial of its members, and it is actually that quality of self-denial which we feel attracted to, the real beauty.

Jesus in his great commandment did say to love our neighbor as ourselves, yet this comes about only if we have been able to die to self. Where marriages break, the church will break and the government too. It is just a matter of time. So community starts at self-denial.

This self-denial is always joyful, when one sees mortifications without joy,  that is not self-denial but a hiding form of pride, self-pity or victimization. The joy of self-denial is something that God gives and makes people around you to want the same as you have, it is the real beauty, what people  see in you and long for. Because once you practice self-denial Christ can enter and shine through you.

There are many ways of practicing self-denial, but you can tell when is rightly so. You have the longing of training your flesh, training your will, training your heart and mind, and at each step God guides you particularly on what to do, the choice is always ours, to procrastinate or make haste. And by the end of it you can also tell if joy was in your heart or you should keep trying again, by praying and supplication, so God changes your heart. Obedience is not easy, but once you taste the sweetness of it, it will help to keep obeying in more things. The more we obey the more is given to us as a task and the more joy we will receive from the Father, it actually resembles much of child-training, yet as adults, we use our will to enter into training. God gives commands and suggestions, he even changes our hearts, yet we still have the free will to obey or not, he will not use force, manipulation, or other means aimed at limiting our freedom, but once we are his children he will reward and chastise us too, like children, and we can always remove ourselves from his family if we would want to, that is why Love is with freedom, we cannot be forced to Love God the Father, but I hope we would always want to.

The Lord is good to me

When the sun is almost dawning

He brings yet a darkest night

To Him now must fiercely clinging

Leave all my life and my might.

So the inner layers are scattered

Like pieces of flaky flesh

That were still in my heart bounded

Invisible like a mesh.

I find amazing how always

It all starts anew once more

When nothing else is kept away

I think, submitting my core.

Yet he brings another night still

This a longer sharper dark

And in my insides gets revealed

Choking bits of self unmarked.

Will this path of Christian life take

Bring me close enough to God

There is one more thing to forsake

Yet, at every step I trod.

The Lord is good to me indeed

He keeps me in a good pace

Lord cleanse me ever more, I need

To be made yours every day.

The Problem of Art

I have been thinking about art and the different expressions of it in various times and groups of people. It seems to me that in the first centuries art was predominantly centered about God and spiritual realities, whereas somewhere after the millennium a change occurred that was plainly seen in the artistic expression, paintings started to portray daily scenes of life, the songs and  lyrics started to talk about the mundane and also poetry and writings were devoted much more to  the human environments than to God and its spheres. The focus changed from the Creat-or to the creat-ed. I know I am overstating and making a gloss over all, since the Greeks were also much centered in the human form, etc…but I want just to look to this later change for now, the change that occurred after the millennium. 

It seems to me that this happened because a change of human consciousness, that let man be more disconnected from the spiritual realities, and more a free thinker, allowing then the display of all the technology that came after. But moreover than that, man was left hanging amidst a system of devotions that was not being effective anymore, the regular churches and their ministering were not helping humankind to be selfless, and to guide them to God for the renewing of their natures, on the other hand, they made them be hypocrites the same as in the time of the Pharisees. At that time also many of the Protestant, Anabaptist  and other movements started to give birth, in order to bring a different relation to the Creator that would make the renewal of their natures. Why there is so much art in the Catholic faith for example and not in the Plain people? I think the answer lies in the change that happened in consciousness: when people were still connected to the spiritual world in a matter of fact way, the art happened almost involuntarily, it was a natural reaction of the human being. After that an effort needed to be made to connect to the spiritual realities again and bring forth art. Who hasn’t heard the expression of  a writer for example saying: “oh, I have done nothing at all, it all came to me” Inspiration is the word that we use for that. But really, who knows about the spiritual realities behind every piece of art? As I sit here writing I am wondering, who put these thoughts in my mind really, and who is inspiring me to write them? Who amongst us can discern between spiritual realities nowadays?

I admit, not I. This spring, we tapped our maple trees, we did not know which ones were maples…so somebody who knew came to help choose which ones to tap. Now when the sap comes we can taste it and test that it is indeed maple syrup. It is the same with the spirits, we may be blind as to whom is whom, but we can see their fruits,  we can test them and see if our lives are filling with joy or love or patience, etc…, or if on the contrary, our lives are getting more tempted and more sinful.

I think the approach that the Plain people make of art is a cautious one, they do plenty of poetry, writing, singing, quilting, card-making, white and black drawing , cooking…, yet they reserve the priority of artistic expression to the result that it brings, they ask: Does it bring me closer to God? Does it make me follow Christ’s  steps more closely?

In my particular life I had to ask this question, and unfortunately it was not a positive answer. I say unfortunately because I used to paint and write poetry and also surround myself to all kinds of beauty. Yet the more I looked at it the more it hindered my spiritual life. For example amid beautiful pieces of religious art, instead of being in a state of devotion to God it made me be in a state of devotion to self, pride was puffing up. When I would start a painting also, it made me center my thoughts, will and heart to it, and it would become an obsession to finish the piece of art, though children needed me to help, or meals needed to be done, the painting was more important. When writing, the sentences would float in my mind until weary, after days of carrying them in my sleep, I would write them down and gave them form, etc…..Was that  helping me to follow God’s will in my daily life? We all know the examples of great artists who had poor relationships with their fellow men, it seems somehow that these two things go pieced together back to front. As one goes forward the other goes backward.

 Looking also at different homes, how we have homes and our dressing attire is an expression of art, sometimes the more beautiful the houses, the less beautiful  the heart. What does it all mean? Is the lust of the eye making us be blind to the natural beauty? Is some kind a beauty alluring us away from God?

Well, again, trying not to generalize, there are always exceptions to this, and in any rate it is based on my only perspective and observation, yet it reckons to be pondered, is really art helpful in our age? Does it help us to become closer to God? Or is it just a mirror of our vanity? What is really the inspiration? What would have to change in order that we would reach God again in a direct form? What art would look like for the man in the 21^st century  if it is to give glory to God and not to other spirits?

When in some schools I see the art welling up so naturally their curriculum, and see their children so much in self, I can’t  but wonder, is this really the way to better humankind? What are we doing wrong? Are we too inclined to Luciferic ways, to pride? When I see the lack of artistic will in the plain people, and I see their children so much learned in self-denial, I can’t but wonder, is really art in the way? Are they just being over-protective? Is there any inclination to Ahrimanic ways, to Fear?

If I have to choose between art and heart, I choose heart. But yet again maybe I do not have to choose and it is just my ignorance in things.

Vision

Last summer I received a strong impression, like a revelation, where the peoples of the earth were separated into two groups, one with technology and the other without. It seems to me that machines are becoming the masters of humans instead of humans being served by machinery. Humanity is being crippled, being animalized, and though God does not need many generations to change the face of the earth, (he can do it instantly), in my vision this took place in a span of various generations.  Studying the various groups of people that are staying away from technology, it seems to also be two categories, those that do it out of tradition, indigenous cultures and alike, and those that consciously choose to stay away from technology even though it is readily available. The first one will eventually succumb to the environment, and if it chances to be an environment with technology it will change their traditional ways to that of modern ways, in one generation. We have seen it happen many times. The other group who consciously chooses to set themselves apart, do so out of convictions stemming from God, and will also see changes, as technology creeps in forcefully, the groups will experience division and purification. Some will not be able to stand the pressure of the world, and will start to compromise ( using computers for business only, watching TV programs that are acceptable, etc..) we all know where that compromise ends up, next generation does not have the limit and starts following the crowd. Now this seems to be rather extreme, yet it is the vision that was given, and though from the outside it may seem crazy, it was also looking rather crazy when I found my husband, yet it was God’s will.  I had been in relationships, every two years, with men that I always thought I would be married to. Finally my friend told me, do not keep on thinking that this is the one you will marry, you are always wrong! After my marriage I did change my romantic ideals from one level to another, and now I was looking for a church, one that would be the real church, the one that I would be married to. Every time we would find a church we would “fall in love” with it and think it was the ONE. Well, now I am ready, like my friend told me, to let go of that search too in the spiritual, and to let God decide which is the church I should commit to, the one which through thick and thin I will stand and never let go till death do us part. I was given  a vision, now I want to respond willing and accordingly.

The story goes that one time, tourists in Pensylvania asked their Amish guide, so, what is the difference between us English and you Amish? The Amish guide said,: Who is here thinking that TV is not good for children? All raised their hands. Who is here taking the TV out of their lives? Nobody raised their hand. This is the difference between them.

I have seen this also in many other circles, besides those tourists, educated people, godly people, waldorf people, conscientious people, Christian people, we all want to do what is right, but who has the strength? You need God for that AND society, you need a group of people that supports that vision, if you just have yourselves, sooner or later the wolf will come in. This last Christmas we went visiting relatives in Spain, my children were praised upon arrival, how good they behave, how thoughtful, how nice to be around with all day long, they are really different from the ones raised in this country, what do you do different? After two weeks of being there my children started to behave like the regulars, all their niceties were dwindling and at the end of our stay you could not have differentiated one from another! There is a lot of things going on in the culture one is living in, you need a society to uphold standards. You can see this clearly in language, my children never acquired my strong Spanish accent while learning English, though I was the main caregiver! The culture gives the language, and does also give many other things. Let me not be blind thinking we can be doing it alone just with God, God can surely bring strayed ones to his fold, but we also need to fellowship with one another regularly, and a society that upholds God’s will, though division may come in, though purifications may be sent, let me ask for God’s will, for God’s leadership in these matters, for God to show His bride to us.

We are doing songbooks this time, one it is full of Amish songs we have learned with our neighbors and we sing them at night together, the other is a compilation of our favorite songs and some new ones that go through the calendar of the year. For this season we are choosing  O Sacred Head Surrounded, and The Heartbeat of God.

Experiments

After attending the Midwest farmers gathering , something has come to mind.  The people making the guidelines for the homeopathic substances are not the sames as in the agricultural section, there seems to be a drift apart from what is mentioned in Agricultural Course, the knitted working together of the farmers and the circle of scientists.

 It was also shown at the gathering how some of the tests that are being performed to evaluate the right potency is done away from life conditions. the mention to Kolisko to test the potencies with germination processes is a clear indication that life is to be tested by life, but some of our scientists follow this without taking into account that the environment is also very much influencing the outcome, and they use plastic petri capsules, artificial light and air, etc, to make it easy to control variability....I am interested in knowing if some of their results can be then compared with tests being done in a more living environment.

Because of that and because it is needed that the Agricultural Section move towards the farmer ( not necessarily the other way around), I am willing to put my effort in designing experiments in the farm, tests that would be be measuring life with life, yet able to create a language between farmers themselves and also with the agricultural section.

One of my first questions is: how the regional wild chamomille compares with the german chamomille?

New Year

We are thinking about buying the cow this year, perhaps one of the cows from my friend Lisa, and also have an old horse to help us with the fields of hay. Part of our garden will be again just for us and canning, and we want to try again planting beets for the local organic cooperative; besides, beets are going to be a part of our cow and steer diet this next winter, we are going to try  to stay away from comercial food by growing roots and feeding them instead of a grain diet. The beets will be sliced for their daily consumption and stored in the cellar. Our chicken flock will be nurtured and -managed somehow- to stay away from our gardens, and we will have no pigs this year. I will try to post the development of this plan, and the days of working and plantings, as well as observations on the growth and health of the land and plants. Blessings on this New Year!